Before I begin to surf the web and look at mindless crap that rots my brain, I visit Yahoo! and read the news to comfort myself into believing that I’m “learning.”
I allows wonder why it’s so hard to write sometimes? I have a theory which may not be for everyone, but I feel like I avoid writing at times so I can deliberately dodge any feelings I’m having. When I write down all the dark and mental thoughts it makes everything absolute. My usual instinct is to grab a cupcake and avoid as much as possible. Bury any real feelings in the part of my brain where my Algebra skills reside. Some may say it’s not a exemplary system but than I just wouldn’t be me. I wish I would write constantly, but instead I convince myself it’ll hurt more than help.
Lingering in every soul.
Overcoming many with pain and confusion.
Virtue is lost.
Eternally hurt and broken.
Driving with one hand the other is busy holding my life together. I’m walking on thin ice, barley hanging on by a string, any metaphor displaying a person in peril illustrates my life. Giving up is not an option. Suddenly I feel your hands veil my eyes. I stop and breathe. Letting your love run through me, filling ever inch of my cold broken body.
Is the ground covered in glue?
How am I not moving?
Stuck to this ground.
I’m going insane.
Wrenching my legs so hard I can feel my sockets being pulled.
I need you to know how I suffer through the days.
I don’t need anything more.
Let me go.
I’ve stayed for you.
Won’t you let me leave for me?
Driving to school today, I plugged my cellphone into my car. I did it carefully, while keeping my eyes one the road, so don’t worry. I really wanted to listen to one song that wasn’t on any of my cds. What song is so important, you ask, that I’m willing to risk bodily injury just so I can listen to it. Well this song is not any old song, but one of my favorites ‘Goodbye My Almost Llover’ by A Fine Frenzy. The lyrics are so powerful; you feel as if you are there with this woman who is haunted by her memories of a broken relationship.
I know this song is old and you probably already know how awesome it is, but I think it’s still worth mentioning. Alison Sudol’s lyrics inspire me. I hope to one day write as beautifully as she does. Today I was a bit emotional, so when I was listening to it, I teared up. I blame Alison Sudol, her voice is so intense you can’t help but be completely immersed in her songs. She has a voice that angels envy. I found out that she released another album in 2009. I couldn’t believe I didn’t know about this, so I got the cd today as soon as I came back home. Can’t wait to listen to it! I will review it once I’m done.
Oh yeah also Alison is freaking beautiful!
Paint me a rainbow.
I might just give you my love.
Taking your hand.
Did you feel the earth move?
The daisies have never looked more brighter.
I love you.
Are you just repeating what I’m saying?
Our hearts collide.
Smashing each other into small pieces.
You love me, I’ll love you.
This might work.
The fog is rolling in now.
Before I can’t see you anymore.